Saturday, August 1, 2009

Respiratory Therapists Wear Black (or What I Learned On Summer Break)

There is a funny story in here...there were very few funny stories this month, but here's one for you. My friend from High School came to visit me at the hospital one day when Dad was still on the vent. She was telling me about her father being in the same position just a few years ago and how well he'd ended up doing. Then she proceeds to tell us about this tale. Her father is a colorful man like Johnny...I could just picture him telling this. At Moses Cone Hospital in Greensboro, the Respiratory Therapists wear black scrubs. (I find this unfortunate...if you work in a hospital there should be NO black scrubs and here's why.) Mr. Simpson woke up one night in the middle of the night with one of these therapists standing over him trying to give him a breathing treatment. It startled him (being the middle of the night and all) and he thought the grim reaper had come for him...seriously.

On that note, here's what I learned this summer.
Hospital staff will wake you up in the middle of the night for the stupidest stuff. (See the story above...also, they woke Dad up one night about 4am to see if he wanted a sleeping pill to help him sleep...I don't make this stuff up people.)

We have the MOST amazing family and friends. I cannot thank them enough for their love, support, hearts, ears, food, etc. that they shared with us this month.

I learned how the heart works (and was reminded of the names of the 4 chambers umpteen billion times) and how pacemakers work...just ask me.

Hospitals DO NOT limit ICU visitors...the Humble family does...but the ICU not so much.

I learned what alcohol does to our bodies and it ain't pretty folks (that being said...I'm not quitting but just keeping things in check...moderation, moderation, moderation)

My brother is all grown up...goodness gracious he's impressed me so many times this month. His wife is AMAZING too. They are going to make such awesome parents.

Chloe eats dead frogs off the side of the road...important to know if you are walking her.

Doctors DO NOT know it all (or even all that much in my humble opinion).

Airlines rarely offer compassion fares. AA offered me one for the week following Dad's heart attack...gee f*#king thanks.

The Clerk of Courts office in the Guilford County Courthouse has moved.

I am an expert on all current celeb gossip and btw the News & Record is now a whopping 75 cents...which is NUTS b/c it sucks.

Southern food in moderation doesn't make my ass fat...I lost .2 lbs and ate all kinds of fried and sugary goodness this month. CRH said it was the stress...go stress...just now in this form ever, ever again.

A higher power just may exist. Dad died for at least 8-10 minutes and has not suffered any major repercussions from this. He walked out of the hospital. I need to reconsider my previous belief system.

Just because you have a heart attack, you may not be on a low sodium diet.

How to read a vent and heart monitors

ICU nurse to patient ratios, schedules, and almost ALL of their protocols

It's really good to catch the Dr. in the hallway...lots of info flows this way.

Having a SW background is slightly useful at when the Hospital SW sucks.

My mom is super strong...probably one of the strongest people I've ever met...ever.

My daughter is an amazing little is my husband who has come to my side when I needed him most and fended for himself all month.

It was an educational education I never wanted, but it's all ended up well. I love you Daddy and I'm so glad you are take care of yourself.

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